Woe is Me

Heavy thoughts filled her head even as the baby lay crying. With a weaken smile she looked at him. Picking him up, slowly making way back to a lonely bed and tear filled eyes that she gazed upon. Her heart called out with no one there to hear. Eyes that were like a light bulb in a cold white ghostly room that made you wonder, how does it still shine on? Not knowing, without warning when it would suddenly go out as its flickering and swaying back and forth put shadows on the walls. The not so innocent person that she thinks she has become, it’s folding. It seems as though there is some connection with her feet leaving the floor and her head hitting the pillow. Looking into the calming baby's bright and soul grabbing eyes she is taken away.
The baby begins to smile, reaching for the soft face of his empty mother. Something changed in her as he did this. She could feel it. Her heart beats faster and faster. Then she brings herself to prayer. Her mind is open, her heart is aching, and her eyes gradually start to drift. "Wait! Who was that?" She wonders without saying a single word. "Did someone just call my name? Did I hear right?" It repeats a second time. Now, she clinches her eyes even tighter than before and prays. "GOD; I am ready for you to use me and speak to me, but I am not ready for this Lord. If you must call on me to speak to me I would much rather you do this in a dream. I just can not trust my mind." Broken down, she opens her eyes. The baby sleeping in her arms and the air from the fan above kissing her cheek gives her peace. Whatever this was that spoke to her was not evil, but still she wondered if maybe she is going a little crazy. She awakes to an early afternoon and a late morning. Tear stained eyes from her night and no memory from any dream. Again she prays.
Makes you think if all your days are good do we call on God like we should? Yet, when our days are to the dumps we overflow him with our prayers. Regardless of what we think, we always need him. He is standing at the door all we have to do is open it. Evening is here with a full house, still she feels alone. Coolness of the room sends chills up her bare neck so small. All the things she has learned of Jesus start weighing in on her. Questions arise just as quick an answer follows. Rambling on, repeating the night over in her head. She must be slipping down a pathway to insanity. She starts playing with her hair she has pulled up so tight. Freeing herself as her on coming thoughts cripple her body. Realizing how vulnerable she must be, a ringing noise from a movie that had been going on in the background of her thoughts captures her. Like a sign it appears. God Is Truth!
From going to and fro in the earth and walking up and down in it, with all that I hold inside, I'm casting out my wearied soul. For, He is perfect in a land that is spoiled. If I'm going to do it right, living life lies within me reaching out to You. You help me to reach pass the clouds to get to heaven. I keep looking up for answers I seek, when all along they're right in front of me. A loving fear to a man who first loved me? Woe is me now... From the beginning You created me. From the beginning of time You made me believe. From the moment You gave me breath an awesome love You have for me. Although, he is seated at the throne there won't be calming until after the storm. The whole land will bow. You have me on my knees. Lord you are King! Just like that I have fulfilled my destiny.