An Open Book

My Life As An Open Book

The week just before our big family trip was spent preparing for a journey of a lifetime. One morning as the kids and I had just sat down at the breakfast table, we immediately took as an opportunity to discuss what’s to come as we travel from one destination to another.

Once we prayed and before we could dive right in, to the feast before us, we spoke of the wild life that we might see along the way. This was very exciting to me as well, all the possibilities. With every ounce of adventurous blood in me, I was just as curious as my 7, 6, and 2 year old of stepping out of my comfort zone and out and about into a world with no limits.

The closer it came for us to leave, the easier the housework became. I felt as though this is what my family had needed to get back on track. It was something, definitely worth looking forward to.

My two girls became Martha Stewart and Paula Dean and my boy, well, with the exception of him. You see, he already thought he was a superhero. He thought himself to be Indiana Jones, and any other male figure that took action head on.

Upon the days leading up to leaving out, our checklist seemed to grow and grow. Do we “need” this or do you “want” to bring that was the start of every conversation. Cleaning became main priority. When the family would use up dishes, what didn’t fit in the dishwasher, was washed by hand rather than, waiting for a full load the next go round.

Snacking replaced our meals and suddenly we all started analyzing if we “really” wanted to wear a particular garment and risk leaving it behind, because it was something we wanted to save to take on the trip.

Back & forth from one store to the next, making double sure to get what we had on our lists. Constant visiting to leave the house cuts down on heavy traffic and little messes. During the ride I stay in thought, looking at what God has created. I can’t help, but wonder how much more is out there?.

It’s so hard to hold in all the excitement from doing something new and at the same time different all together. I find myself smiling at the small things that really don’t matter. Then, to do something drastic doesn’t even compare. It’s a freedom I’ve never felt. This is not something you could just do everyday.

Another day down and the search to find things to past the time, was now our goal. To top it off, we began watching documentaries to fill ourselves with knowledge of places unknown to us. Places that mark the x on our map. For us, we choose quite several.

The clothes packed and there is a visual check to take notice of. This goes for everything on our list of things to do, except one, and that is for us to be in seat and on course to a timeless, stress less, family vacation. Did I say, “ Stress less”? Ha! Well, a person can dream can’t they?

One would think that they make the plans, but I have had the privilege of knowing differently. For a majority of the time I felt as though all the dreams I had were crumbled right before me. I questioned the change in my life and the change we were to make as a family. If all this was up to me to decide, I would be more in shambles I suppose.

Funny how all of life’s little complexities can come back at you at the drop of a dime. I use this one, because I figure everyone can relate here with the drop of the economy. To get back on track, I will update you on the recent circumstances. My Mother-n-Law, with current news of illness has moved into our home for care. As we nurture to her, we are there for her every step of the way. If it hasn’t been something to benefit her loneliness we would simply avoid it.

Within a few months time she has been diagnosed with cancer in her lungs, lymph nodes, and brain. She has been given an approximate life expectancy of 2 weeks to two months, as with giving up her job, her hair and any means left of normalcy. I can honestly say, I have never met a more independent person in my life. Although having shift work, my husband has been giving up his resting time to provide the comfort she needs getting to and from the treatment center.

Who knew life could be such a journey? The things I am learning from her despite the outcome, I can see the Lord at constant work here. So you see, if I would be fully in charged of my life, I would have missed out on things I have learned throughout this ordeal and I would have never been able to relate, only sympathize to someone else in a similar situation.

Everything happens for reasons that we just can not fathom. To know that I have a creator that loves me this much is amazing. She has nothing on this earth to finish. Imagine the reward to be able to not only see it, but to grasp it. She has shone me a hope I have never seen.